HCSKL 2010 Notes‎ > ‎

Day 4

0:10 - How do I love God? Like, how do I just look at you and love you? How do I get to know you and love you? Sometimes it’s the people that we see all the time that we have the hardest time loving in the natural. Because we see every little weakness and imperfection. “Oh, that just bugs me when they do that!”

God's Love for Us

➡ 1:10 - The gospel is the answer for how to love - Meditate on these things - How do I just look at people and love them? It’s the gospel. And I’m going to break it down today. The gospel is your only answer. It’s the finished work of Christ. It’s the fact that Christ came. What motivated Him to come. The message He sent in coming. And these are the things that I think we are called to meditate on and camp on.

1:30 - We get distracted from camping in the reality of God’s love - I think sometimes we want a whole lot of knowledge in different areas and get distracted and topical - teaching on topics. And I don’t know that we ever get established in the basic, foundational truth of God’s love for us through Jesus Christ and really understand it.

Why He Came

1:55 - Understand why He came - To redeem sons and daughters - How many of you were taught that He died to forgive your sins or that He died because you committed sin? But how many heard that He died because your life is worth living and you were created to be a son and He wanted to redeem you as a son? But that changes everything.

2:05 - "Sinner" mentality makes His love a mystery - Did He die to remove your sin alone? Or did He die to remove your sins so you could be sons and daughters? If you just think He died to remove your sin, you are stuck continuing to be a sinner and “Thank God He died to remove my sin because I’m always going to sin. I’ll always be a sinner. And one day we will all be together. And it’s amazing He wants to be with me. I don’t know why He would want to spend eternity with me."

2:30 - God’s love shouldn’t be a mystery - We need understanding - Why does God want me to be with Him forever in heaven and I don’t even really know Him now? I used to think about that all the time growing up. And yet He paid a price for me and died so that I could be with Him in heaven forever. And yet on the earth, I felt very far from Him.  It was a lack of understanding. We haven’t preached the whole truth.

3:00 - He died to remove sin and redeem sons - The gospel doesn’t expose that you are a sinner. It removes sin from you… so that you can get on being who you were created to be - sons and daughters - filled with the same Spirit that raised Christ from the dead.

3:10 - He came because of love - Sinner mentality keeps His love a mystery - That’s why the gospel of Jesus is love. See we don’t get it if we just think of sin because we think, “Why would He die for me if I’m destined to be a sinner and always just going to mess up and fail Him? And that’s an amazing love.” And then we sing songs - “I’ll never understand your love,” etc. No, you can (understand why He loves you). “I’ll never know how much it cost to see my sin upon that cross.” I want to know how much it cost. I want to get a revelation of that. I want to see what it means to lay down your life so that I’ll know how to lay down mine. I want to understand the price He paid so that I can FOLLOW HIM. I don't want to make it a mystery.

4:00 - He loves what's underneath the sin - When you are talking like that - I don’t understand why He loves us so much - You’re exalting all your weaknesses, imperfections and failures and saying, “This is who I am. It’s amazing He loves that.” That’s not what He loves. That’s what He paid the price to remove. What He loves is what is underneath all of that.

4:35 - The impact of forgiveness - Love - So if you are forgiven much, you’ll love much. Do you see why people struggle with forgiveness? And  why satan keeps them condemned and guilty and ashamed and questioning? Because once you really accept forgiveness, there is a “love much.”

5:10 - Understanding that I am a son changes my outlook - Look at the impact on my and your life when you hear that He died to redeem your value. He didn’t just die because I am a mess up. That changes my destiny. That means I’m not labelled as a mess-up. Do I have the ability to mess up? Of course. But do I have the grace to be a son? Do I have the leading of the Spirit to do His will? Do I have the empowerment of the Spirit and the wisdom of God through the Spirit to be Christ-like? If you don’t see the whole reason why He came…

5:45 - We've only preached part of the gospel - Leaving us sin-conscious - I travel the country and preach the gospel the way I see it. And I know what it’s done in my life. And I have pastors, behind the scenes, cry and tell me that they feel like they haven’t preached the gospel to their people. Because we hear a message growing up, embrace that message and repeat it. And it hasn’t produce the life that intends to produce because we’ve only preached a piece of the message. And we remain sin-conscious in the process.

6:25 - Sin mentality prevents receiving His love - All you see is the problem - When you remain sin-conscious, it’s impossible to receive the love of God. If you remain sin-conscious, you disqualify yourself from (God’s) love because you are faultfinding. All you see is what’s wrong with you. And it makes it impossible to receive His love. Or it makes God a mystery. If you try to say He loves you what’s predominant is your failing, sin nature instead His love that redeems you.

7:00 - Man who stands - Why are you even talking about sin? - Grace without transformation - Man stands up during preaching and says, “You need to get a revelation of Christ. Why would you even talk about sin? God knows we are sinners and we will always sin.” Man storms out. Turn to Roman 6 - Started to teach on dying to sin. The man embraced the philosophy that we are what we are and Jesus paid the provision to at least be forgiven one day.

10:00 - The whole gospel - to restore His image in you - We’ve almost at large produced that (wrong thinking on transformation) when we have failed to preach the whole gospel - when we make it all about the fact that we are sinners and not created to be sons. It’s real simple. The gospel is here to restore you back to His image.

10:20 - He came as a man - our Model - The whole reason Christ died was to set an example and show us… Well first He had to come as a man, to defeat the devil as a man, because a man lost the thing, because God gave it to a man in the first place. So He came as a man. He didn’t come as God - (Note). But the whole reason He came is to win that back, and in the process, teach us and show us and live out the example of what you and I were created to be all along.

10:45 - He is unshakable love - And He is love. He is the living epistle of love. Jesus wasn’t changed by the things that people said against Him or what they did to Him because He is love. It didn’t change a thing with Him because He is love.

11:30 - Complaining - Jesus in the wilderness v. Hebrews in the wilderness - right mentality - Jesus didn’t complain and He came out filled with power and the Spirit of God. The Hebrews complained in the wilderness. And that mentality killed them in the wilderness. Both faced the same trial and temptation and yet they came out very different. Why? Jesus was selfless but The Hebrews were selfish. It’s simple.

12:05 - Perspective put in place through relationship and grace, not the flesh - And when you see that in your Bible, here’s what you’ve got to do in your heart because you can’t say, “Ok, today I’m not going to be selfish.” Just like you can't say, “OK, today I am going to love God.” You can't do that.

12:50 - You love your neighbor as yourself. The healthier I see when I look in the mirror, the clearer I will see your life.

13:30 - Participant’s comment - “I’ve always looked at sin as a burden that was too heavy to carry.” That kind of sounds like Pilgrim’s Progress.

14:00 - Who is weary and heavy laden, come unto me. My yoke is easy. My burden is light - Mt. 11:28-30. Why is it light? Because it is pretty free to live in righteousness. It’s pretty free to not try to work this thing out in your own strength. It’s pretty free to live in communion with Holy Spirit being led by the Spirit. It’s life and peace.

14:30 - The gospel is more than just covering over of sins - Remission of sins - So you have to understand that it’s more than the forgiveness of sins. All I knew most of my life was that Jesus died on the cross for the remission of my sins. Well, what does that mean? Remission means the removal of sin - as if I have never sinned. If you still maintain a sinful identity just because of your ability to miss the mark…

False Identity of Sin

14:50 - Sinner identity - We think our ability to miss the mark determines who we are. We think our ability to sin makes us sinners. And people preach that.

15:00 - Well, what are we, if we are not sinners? I’ve struggled with a particular sin every day for a long time, “God, come on, it’s been years. Why am I still struggling with this? Do you see the frustration that is building in you because of that? And you are expressing that - Why? Because your heart is actually pure. You’re sincere. You care about it. Then why do I keep doing it? Because of a lack of understanding. I’m glad you’re in this school. We’re destroyed because of a lack of knowledge - Hosea 4:6.

15:30 - Frustration with sin reveals a heart for God - So the frustration looks like a bad thing in a sense, but it actually reveals your heart. It reveals that you care. Now in time, if you don’t deal with that, and you don’t get answers in a timely fashion, and you just let your frustration take you into more frustration, it can harden your heart, your heart can get cold and you say, “Oh, whatever.” And then you just quit and yet your heart is in prison, suffering because deep, deep down inside, you don’t want that in your life. That’s why it’s easy to cry. That’s why there are tears. That’s ok. It’s a good thing. That means that you are alive inside. You have a heart for God.

16:15 - Frustration over time - If you are not careful, you will just beat yourself because this is marking you. “I’m just this.” And, “Come on God.” And when you look in the mirror, “Argh,” because that’s what you see instead of, Father, my heart is so for you. I want to understand this. Keep fathering me. Lead me Holy Spirit into truth because this is not who I am. I don’t want a repeat performance thing. I want a complete redemption and I believe my life is worth your blood - worth your love. Thank you for fathering me.

16:55 - Don't focus on the sin - Build on your true identity - When you are frustrated you don’t see the doorway to receive love and you feel like that has to change before you FEEL like you are lovable. All of the sudden that thing (repeating sin) is who you are. No, that thing inside your heart that I see called hunger and desire for God is who you are. That’s who you are. You have to build on that. You have to grow in that - your heart cry, Father, the temptation is to be so frustrated around this and judge myself. You have never judged me. You’ve done nothing but love me. Teach me to love. Let my heart and my understanding open up to that truth because you obviously love me. Jesus, you already died for me. The price is paid. The blood is speaking. This thing is already set. I must grow in it. Keep fathering me. Keep teaching me. Keep giving me understanding. But I am not bailing out. I’m not getting frustrated. I’m not turning tail and running. You are going to walk me through this.

17:30 - The toll of continuing in a false identity - Do you hear the life in that mentality? Versus, "God, this is really cruddy. You need to change my life. I'm not getting it. I’m just a loser if you don’t change me." - There is a “blah” in that. And if you are not careful that is just where you are camping. And then even more years might go by with no change.

18:15 - And what’s the toll on your heart if you continue in that false identity? After a while your heart feels like it covers over and dies but I promise you it doesn’t because of grace. Down inside it puts people in a prison - there is still this distant cry for freedom. They are wearing a false identity.

Look to Jesus to Find God's Love - Nowhere Else

18:40 - My family never expressed love. It’s hard to me to understand what love is. How can I possibly enter into this kind of love you are talking about?

19:00 - Not being loved doesn’t disqualify you from receiving God’s love - I’ve never heard my dad say, “I love you.” My grandpa - I knew he loved me - but he never said it. I didn’t have any kind of love in my background. I grew up in the city with a dysfunctional family - a lot of screaming at home - an alcoholic dad… but I am not trying to find love there. That has nothing to do with my ability to receive love - the fact that I never had that.

19:40 - Human love wasn't even love - False motives - You see, until Christ came, love wasn’t. Even if some of us seemed to have love. You would be amazed at how falsely motivated it was a lot of times. As quick as you could be love, you could be cursed. If you do good, you are accepted. If you don’t do good, you are cut off. So some people were just whipped into a place where they lived out of discipline, because that’s what was favorable.  It wasn’t even love.

20:15 - We teach that not being loved disqualifies you from receiving God's love - The orphan spirit - I don’t understand that message. I am concerned about that message. Because it gives everybody the permission to weigh God on the basis of human experience and life. What does it matter if nobody ever said, “I love you.” Jesus came and died on a cross. That’s the “I love you.” That’s the part that was missing. He sacrificed Himself for me no matter where I was, no matter what I was doing. He came and believed the best in me and deposited His life into the earth so I could have life, even though I was lost and yet a sinner.

21:00 - Stop looking for love in all the wrong places - I can’t find love anywhere else. Stop looking for love in all the wrong places. It doesn’t matter if your parents never said, “I love you.”

21:20 - We have to stop trying to find God through a rational explanation. Faith says Jesus came and died for me. That’s amazing. No one ever died for me before. No one ever unconditionally removed every mistake I have ever made. Nobody ever purposed to give me the whole kingdom. I have to meditate on that and understand what love is.

21:50 - Get your eyes on Christ - We live through Him - 1 John 4:9 - In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him. - Until “this,” love wasn’t revealed. You could psychologically give yourself permission to not receive the gospel because you could continue to say, a year from now, “It’s just hard because I never had love in my life.” Most of us didn’t. The gospel is greater than that. We get our eyes on Christ - our life is in Christ - we live through Christ.

22:50 - Manifest - seen or known or realized.

22:55 - What is love? - Christ crucified - The measuring stick of love is Christ crucified. For me to begin to accept God’s love, I have to know that Christ crucified is the truest expression of love that there ever was and ever will be. It’s the only door - the only door to truth in that area. Christ crucified is the only foundation for love. Why is that love? Because there is a statement in it. “I’m giving my one Son because you are all really my sons. And you are lost right now. But if I give my one Son, you’ll be found. It pleases me to bruise Him, because I can get the bruise and pain off of you, if you will trust that I am your Father.

23:45 - “Our Father” means that you’re family - Call no man on earth your father. You have one Father - Mt. 23:9. Teach us to pray - Our Father - Luke 11:1-2. When He called God His Father they wanted to kill Him. Jesus made Himself family with God. Our Father - if He is your Father, you are a son. Father means come forth from.

24:25 - Breaking from the hurt of sin against me through right perspective in Christ - The love of a father - I never had love in my household. I was told by my own dad, “You’ll never be nothing. You’re a loser.” What was he doing? Taking His own frustration out on me. Why would I let his sin against me produce that in me. Why would I believe him when it hurt so bad, now that Christ has come? Now that Christ came it put everything my dad said in right perspective. Now that I am looking through the cross, I understand what dad’s dilemma was. So all his words were an expression of him and his pain and it was being vented to me. Why am I taking that as my personal identity and my ability not to receive love because I didn’t have love around me. I’ve got love now. Why? Because the just live by faith - Rom.1:17. Now the gospel is here. God loved. God is love. It doesn’t say my dad is love. God is love.

25:30 - Does my dad have the privilege of growing in love and becoming love and loving his own son? Absolutely. Is my life dependent on him getting that revelation? No, my life is in Christ.

25:50 - That we might live through Him - Your whole identity is formed through Christ coming. Everything about your life - destiny, purpose, motivation, value, significance is all because Christ came.

By Faith Receive His Love

26:20 - Faith takes me to the reality of God’s love through alone time with God - Faith takes me there. I believe first the gospel. And all this reality starts flooding my heart. I get alone in the bedroom and believe that I am that valuable to God in spite of every word my dad said in pain and hurt and failure. I believe I am that precious. I believe that He loves me. I thank Him for teaching me love. I am not trying to find love through my family experiences. I’m finding God through a crucified Son.

27:10 - You can't change what happened but you don’t have to be a product of it - Or that will become a natural reason that you can’t be free. And here is your dilemma. You can never change your past. You can’t change what they did or didn’t do. But you’re not stuck there. That’s not you. Unfortunately, that’s the reflection of where they were. Satan would love for you to be a living product of that. And for that to reproduce itself. And for you to be the next generation to carry on that emptiness - to reproduce after its own kind. And for you to be the spitting image of all of that memory and pain. That’s its intention. The gospel is saying, “No, I love you. Your parents might not have showed it but I already have.”

28:30 - Walk by faith not feelings - Inner healing and deliverance - That stuff is so huge in the church because we are not living by faith in the word. We already have the answers. And we are waiting to FEEL different. No, I believe different. And as I believe different, I begin to FEEL different. I am full of feelings but I don’t live by them. All I need to do is find it in God’s word and it is the truth.

29:30 - Excuses not to receive love - You’re giving yourself an excuse not to see. You are saying, “It’s hard.” Let me be a friend to you - No, it’s not. It’s not hard for you to sit on a bed when nobody is looking and say, Father, today I chose to make a distinction. Anything about my life or towards my life before you came through the gospel - even though I’ve been saying I’m a Christian all of these years, before today - none of that determines the love in my life. The fact that You died for me Jesus is where I am camping from now on. And Holy Spirit I appreciate You bringing me a revelation of who You are in my life. Father, I believe you love me or Jesus would’ve never died for me. I believe you’ve washed away all of my sin… That’s what we have failed to do because we don’t FEEL that’s true. So we are waiting to FEEL that’s true before we get alone and have that kind of expression with God.

30:30 - Father, thank you that you love me and you made me precious in your sight - that you saw my life was worth dying for - that you saw fit to love me and let that love never fail. God, I stand clean and righteous in your sight because I am predestined to be a son and You saw fit to redeem me as a son. So a son I shall be. Most people don’t think that way let alone pray that way. ➡ That’s why we are having this school.

31:20 - Live from truth, not FEELINGS - Not a lot of people see what I am trying to say. We’re just waiting to wake up one day and FEEL better - or some rosy song playing in our heart. The bottom line is you give yourself to the gospel. I can't tell you how many times I have sat on the bed, driven in my car, looked in the mirror and proclaimed truth over my life. But this mentality of feeling like it’s “hard” to receive love because I’ve never known love in my life - it has nothing to do with truth - it has to do with emotions and psychological reasoning and FEELINGS.

Perspective on Hurt

32:30 - Example: Sexual abuse as a child - Trashed by life - Let’s say you were sexually abused when you were little and it was a repeated thing. You might have even cried out in your heart, “God, don’t let that happen again” and it still happened. You may feel like God forsook you. And all of the sudden your identity is through that incident. And your whole life you are in a cage because this thing speaks to you. It identifies you. It destroyed your honor, integrity, your heart and trust toward God.

33:50 - Hearing the gospel - And at some point the gospel comes. You begin to understand. You begin to see who you really are. But your mind will go, “If I was so precious, why did God let me get touched wrong? How come I had to go through that?”

34:10 - The plan of the enemy is to stop reception of the gospel - You have to understand that this gospel is the truth about you no matter what. You don’t even have all of the answers to all of those questions. I put it in a general place - sin is trying to destroy us and scar our hearts from the time we are born so that when we hear the good news, there is nothing good about it (we can’t receive it) because we are so trashed by life. It’s the plan of the enemy.

34:40 - What does it matter? That abused boy died. But even if we were touched wrong as a child, what does that have to do with anything now that Christ has come? Because when Christ comes and I get born again that boy dies and the man that has been waiting to live finally resurrects from the dead and I live for the first time.

35:10 - New and healthy perspective on the past - So all of the sudden - the person who touched me wrong - I see them in a healthy perspective. It’s man devoid of truth, perverted, deceived and possibly destroyed if truth doesn’t come into their life. And do you think that I am going to harden my heart because somebody did something to me when I was four, now that I am forty and understand truth? Are you kidding me? I feel so sad for a person in that position - that has the ability to violate someone’s innocence. It would be better to have a millstone around your neck and cast into the sea than you cause one of these little ones to stumble - Mt. 18:6. That ought to cause a trepidation for the souls of those people. You say, “Are you kidding? He deserves hell.” No he doesn’t. He deserves truth - for his eyes to be illuminated or Jesus would have never died on a cross.

35:45 - If you can’t get your heart in that place, you are having a real hard time receiving this and even letting Him love you. You are having a hard time seeing the value of people. If you are looking through that eye towards others, you have that same place in you with God. There is a hindrance. No, the gospel heals all of that. The gospel shows me how God sees me and sees my life.

36:15 - I can have compassion on people who have done terrible things because I have missed the mark and needed the blood. We all have need of the blood. It just means that someone through deception did this. Our war is not flesh and blood - it’s deception and perversion and sin through the enemy’s power.

37:20 - Realizing my wretched heart helps me understand the deception of others - The night I got saved I knew my heart was wretched - self-centered - self-serving. "My life is pitiful." But that was only for a moment and since then I have been a son. It was important for me to have that experience and then I understand that it is just the deception of sin in every man.

37:45 - The gospel identifies me - The peril of sin working in people. My perspective on them. How do you stop that process? By rising up and realizing - the gospel identifies you. You are not a boy who was touched wrong. You are a man who was touched right by the gospel and grace and mercy and you’ve taken on a brand new identity and your honor is restored and you’ve been separated from sin. Faith takes you there.

38:20 - Locking into wrong identity - Or you are letting your heart be hard and you are waiting for vindication and justice on something that can never be changed. And you are locking your identity into the former days and who you were - not who God is causing you to become through the truth that you are hearing.

38:40 - Moving to right identity by faith - That’s what faith decides. You either lock into a wrong identity and demand from rights at the cost of truth that makes you free or you embrace the truth that makes you free and everything else dies.

39:00 - The fact that my dad was an alcoholic and it seemed all of those years were wasted - it does not matter at all. I’m losing nothing. It doesn’t matter. It’s frail and pale in the light of knowing Him. But if I let that have a voice, I will never be released to knowing Him. But now that I have been released to knowing Him because I have made that not matter by faith, as I get to know Him that thing is nothing. I don’t even feel like I lost anything. Why? Because grace is greater. Truth is greater. Or I am sitting here with a sad heart wishing to get those years back that were stolen. I got them all back and plus because I have a Father and I am so loved and so free.

40:00 - Free from me - Free from you - You always hear me preaching, “I’m free from me.” That’s the first person you are free from. If you don’t get free from you, you are a prisoner. Because then people owe you. People can still hurt and abuse you.

40:20 - You can’t emotionally abuse me - It’s impossible to emotionally abuse me. That’s silly to me. Why? Because I know who I am and why. So if you are living in a way that would agree with or aligned with emotional abuse in the world’s terms, I would feel sorry for you. Why would you have that much power in my life, when I am called to be Christ-like. Why would you be that barometer? I would still be expecting you to make me complete - still in need of you to treat me right so that I am ok. We are still trying to find love in all the wrong places. And all of these things are evidence that we fail to just let Him be the source of love.

41:25 - That doesn’t mean I can’t receive love from you. But I won’t receive pain or hurt from you. You can sharpen me, encourage me, edify me and cheer me on. But there is nothing you can take from me. If that wasn’t true, I’d be in trouble because I live on the earth too. It’s my perspective that keeps me.

Deny YourSELF

42:00 - First, deny yourSELF - Matthew 16:24 - If any man come after me let him first deny himself… So if you come to God you have to first deny yourself. That’s how you truly come to God. You can come with questions and unresolved issues, but at some point, you’ve got to realize that, “Wait a minute. I am my biggest problem because of the way I see, expect, demand… I have a lot of rights. I’m not denying myself.”

42:50 - Retaining your rights - to have first impressions - to draw close to some that I feel comfortable with and avoid others that I am not totally sure about. That’s what it means to have rights. All of the sudden you are driving the car. And you are living the way that you have always lived but you are incorporating the Christian confession into your life but you are still full of rights. Then men can still offend you and break your heart and you are still just playdough or putty in the hands of men. No, I’m playdough or putty in the hands of the great potter. When you are in the hands of men, it doesn’t make a masterpiece. When you are in the hands of God Almighty you come out sculpted baby - ready for the Master’s use.

43:45 - Still a god unto yourself - still driving the car - If you come into Christianity holding onto rights, you will be greatly disappointed, deceived and hurt and you might embrace the thought that you could find fault with God, in time. In time, you could put Him in the court of your mind and find Him guilty. Because you are still a god unto yourself. You’re still driving the car.

44:20 - Surrender your rights in prayer - You are surrendering those rights in a place of prayer. You are denying yourself in that way. Father, I have no need from any man except that I would see their value and love them. Father, no longer am I giving in to offense - no matter what the circumstances. It’s not warranted. It’s never acceptable. Hurt and anger, strife and frustration - they are no longer a part of my life. They are not my destiny or the identity of who you are in me. You are perfect love. And I thank you Father that you are molding my heart into agreement with yours. You’re causing my eyes to look through your truth and your wisdom. Father, I thank you that you are forming love in me. I’m choosing love. I’m letting love rule and reign. I’m not letting any other mindset, any other feeling, any other emotion… I was created for your image. And your image I shall manifest. Father, what men say or don’t say isn’t the issue. What you have proclaimed through Jesus Christ is my truth. I sit alone and pray that way. Most of us think that praying is praying about what concerns us.

Don't Focus on What's Wrong - Build on What God is Doing

46:30 - Only seeing what is wrong with me - A lot of times we get trapped seeing ourselves way far from truth and then all we pray about is what’s wrong with us - and God changing what’s wrong with us. And it actually creates a stronghold of what’s wrong with you. It falsely identifies you.

46:45 - For example: peace - It’s kind of like peace. “I don’t feel peace. I don’t feel peace. Pray for me, I don’t feel peace.” Then you’ll ask people to pray until you FEEL peace. And the Bible says that you have peace with God. Here is what you are doing. You are living sensual. You are being mystical. You are waiting for something to fall into your lap - the package of peace. Peace comes through knowing that you’ve been made right with God.

46:30 - Holiness arises out of knowing I have been made right with God - When you are weighing your life - thinking of your faults and weaknesses - then you are already thinking you are not right with God. I have good news for you. This doesn’t give you permission to remain the same. I don’t preach a loose gospel. I’m called to holiness but holiness comes out of knowing that I have been made right. I’m not TRYING to be holy. That’s impossible. Grace empowers you to live a holy life because your heart beats in agreement with God. But the first thing I do is know that He came for me while I was yet a sinner.

47:00 - I'm a son now - So if He came for me while I was yet a sinner, then anything that I stumble in along the way, sure doesn’t bother him because I was a sinner when He came for me. Am I a sinner now? Absolutely not. I am a son. “What are you saying? Are you perfect, brother?” I never said that. I said I am a son. He is perfect. And His love is perfect. And I am growing in Him and He is making me purer and purer and purer. And the pure in heart shall see God - Mt. 5:8. And righteousness is producing holiness in my life - Rom. 6:22. And I’m not trying not to sin. I’m being a son. And being a son empowers me to live like a son. And it’s all that I can see. I can't see anything else.

47:40 - If I stumble -  If I would stumble today, in any way, I can’t see anything else because being a son makes me run and jump on his lap and thank God for who I am becoming and that is not who I am in Him and who He is in me. And I thank you for your amazing love and how the blood washes me and how clean I remain in you. God, you are making me wiser, sharper, smarter. Thank you for the light that is in my life.

48:20 - Negative mindset - “Dumb me. You’ll never get it right.” - That’s the counsel that runs through our minds. I bet it doesn’t come from wisdom. That kind of mindset doesn’t produce life and doesn’t help your identity.

48:40 - If I stumble - I run to Him. Why? Because He is my Father and I have relationship with Him. Why do we run and hide and put fig leaves on and try to cover our sin, when you can’t? And why do we live naked and ashamed when He has robed us so beautifully? What He did identifies me, not what I have done. I camp there until that becomes my stronghold.

49:20 - Let truth be your best friend and build on it - You and I were a mess in our hearts before He came. You might think, “Well, I am still a mess.” No, your heart is touched by truth - the gospel. Now you care - your heart cares. You have to learn to let truth be your best friend and build on it and appreciate what God is doing in your heart. You know Lord, years ago I didn’t even care about this. And the only reason I think it’s an issue now is because truth has come to me. And the truth is I don’t want to live less than you. I don’t want to live in weakness. I don’t want to live in a continuing cycle of sin. I just want to live as your son. I just thank you that you love me and you see me as precious and valuable. And you are working a wisdom in me. You’re working a love in me - a truth in me - a truth that is my freedom. And I thank you that you love me.

50:25 - Build on what God is doing - If you don’t start doing that you’ll never see the value in your own life. You will be crying out for God to love, what you don’t like because you are not separating the two. Or you will want everybody to appreciate what you don’t even like. Why? Because when they look in the mirror they go, “Oh, you are such a loser.” Satan is telling them, “That’s who you are.”

51:30 - That is so not who I am. I am your son and I want to be. And I receive your love and I am not ashamed of this gospel. It’s the power of God unto salvation because in it righteousness is revealed. And you qualified me to be yours. And I thank you that you are working wisdom in me and pouring yourself into me in a way that my life is lived righteous. I accept that I have been made clean. And I thank you that my actions are clean because you have cleansed me from within. Talk to God continually like that.

52:00 - Reading and meditating in the word.

52:35 - Faith takes you into intimate communion. You may be waiting to change first. But the gospel changes you. You are changed along the way.

53:00 - Thank you for light - Presumptions in your mind based on natural wisdom. You don’t want to be presumptuous. You don’t want snap judgments. You want to hear clearly - discern rightly. Don’t judge yourself for incorrect presumptions. Don’t go on then to pray from insecurity - demeaning place. Father, I so thank you for the light in my life that is teaching what I am seeing right now. And the reason that I can see it because you are purifying me. I don’t ever want to snap-judge or presume. I don’t want to even hear things for what they are not. I want to walk in your wisdom. And I am so thanking you right now that you are working that in me....

55:30 - Focus on what has been made right - not what is wrong - Be careful that you are not so introspective that you are writing a negative resume. And that you are praying because you are so messed up. They are always praying for God to change them because they believe that they’ve got a lot of issues. You’re not going to change focusing on what’s wrong with you. Grace changes you when you focus on what has been made right through the crucified son. You have to grow in the answer. You don't troubleshoot. The truth makes you free, not your natural reality and focusing on it.

56:10 - Camp in His love - The truth is He loves you. Some of us need to camp there for the rest of our lives. Father, you love me so much. My life is so worth dying for to you. And you by your Spirit are teaching me that reality. You are teaching me the value of my life. I’m open for that. You wouldn’t have put your Son on the cross if I wasn’t your will... See - it’s not hard. Faith takes you there. Or your mind determines your life instead of your heart.

New Perspective - Truth

57:10 - Heart set free through new perspective - Your mind is trying to keep your heart in jail. Jesus said, I have come to open prison doors - Luke 4:18. Why? Because He has come to make your perspective brand new. He has come to put truth on your scenario. And get human wisdom out of you so you can live out of your heart. A man believes with his heart not his mind - Rom. 10:10.

57:45 - We don’t judge (see) ourselves on the basis of where our hearts want to take us. We judge ourselves on the basis of our lives and our performance. That’s inaccurate. I can’t change my performance without Him changing it through me.

58:25 - What do you do when pain and loss bubbles to the surface when communing with the Father? What am I missing?

59:10 - Don't go looking for pain and loss - If that is a supernatural experience there is a place where God will just move it away. I never encourage people to go looking for pain and loss or feeling like I’m just denying pain and loss. In the natural, I have so many reasons why I could feel pain and loss. I don’t think you are missing anything.

59:35 - Confessing the word - Enter into relationship - I’m not encouraging you to just speak (confess) the word over your life. I’m encouraging you to enter into relationship with God the Father through the word - and personally relate to Him, not just quote and confess the word over your life. I know that’s taught in the church but I’m personally not a fan of that. I’m a fan of communion and knowing Him.

100:00 - You can confess the word over your life and it not be your reality and then you question the word or wonder what you are doing wrong - throwing yourself into works. The gospel is so healing, so liberating… It’s like physical loss. Is physical loss real? We would be fools to deny the sense of physical loss.

100:25 - Loss of grandparents. -

100:40 - New perspective on physical loss - Is there physical loss? Yes. Is there a day where I am going to feel sad because they are not there and I can’t just stop in and say, Hey? Probably. The gospel puts things in such a perspective - there is such a thankfulness to life.

101:00 - Right perspective on pain - Those things that bubble up - it’s not that we have to go through them one by one - that’s what inner healing and deliverance programs come from. The gospel truth heals and restores your heart. So when you are in a place, seeking God and then these things start to bubble up, Father, I thank you, you are my answer for everything. I think what the Lord wants to do in communion is put that pain in proper perspective so that you are not in hidden pain. He’ll just put a right perspective on it.

101:50 - Thankfulness for grandparents. Did both graveside services.

102:25 - Face physical loss, but not apart from the gospel. You’re not trying to deny the loss. The gospel heals you of everything. Old things pass away. All things become new.

103:00 - Shift your perspective to see through His eye - Truth - Why would these things bubble up when you are communing? What a safe time for them to bubble up. Because there is a grace in that place for your perspective to shift. You can see it for what it really is. And God can begin to separate you from that. You can begin to realize that you really are ok. I really am ok because you have come and rescued me. And I thank you… Ask Holy Spirit how you are to respond and what direction to start praying in and He will take you there. I don’t think it’s a bad thing (for stuff to be bubbling up). God is shifting your perspective to see through His eye. He doesn’t want you hurt and broken.

104:00 - Graveside of grandpa. When dad was missing grandpa was there. We miss the graces that are all through our lives. We are so busy seeing what is wrong that we miss what is right.

105:15 - Healthy identity is part of that perspective of truth - A healthy identity is what every one of us should cling to. My life is in You, Jesus. You are greater than any hurt or loss I may be harboring. You are taking my perspective and lifting it above that.

105:30 -  Grandma and grandpa. Thankfulness is a beautiful thing.

107:00 - There are some things designed against every one of us to get us to think through a mind that produces no life - a mindset that steals what is right in front of us.

107:50 - Potential for growth from the seed - The kingdom is seed form. The gospel is seed form. The gospel comes into us in seed form. We tend to miss that - and “by faith” and the “power of the seed.” We get focused on what seems to be our present reality. And the just live by faith - Rom. 1:17.

108:00 - Prayer for participant with question above - @58:25. ...We ask that when those things well up in times of communing that you would bring it into gospel light. That you would cause her perspective to look through the eye of truth in such a way that you would establish freedom in her life. And not sell anything here short...

110:25 - Break

Perspective on Hurt

110:35 - Participant's testimony - Abusive father - Prayer to God: "Let me see people the way you see people." I'm sad for him. How can good people die and yet my father lives long? God's answer: "I love him so much that I am going to give him as much time as I can to get with me." God can release you from all of that hurt and pain. God changed my heart.
113:10 - God changes our perspective to see like He sees - It's not even a magical eraser. It's a perspective that changed in you. You were asking Him to help you see people like He does. And you began to feel compassion for the very one that seemed to be the violator of your life. Why? Because you realized that he's the one in desperate trouble. "I'm here with Christ. The Spirit of God lives in me. What he did hasn't captured me. I'm not a prisoner to what he did. I'm chained to righteousness. I'm a woman of God. I've been born again."
113:40 - And all of the sudden you realized that all of these people in his life didn't want anything to do with him. He has subverted his whole destiny - his whole identity - years have been stolen. All of the sudden through love, you begin to see where a person really is. And it's no longer what they did to you. It's how they are deceived. And what they are being robbed of. Isn't that the heart of God towards us?
114:00 - Picture God on the throne looking at us - "I created them in my image and look what they are doing. Holy Spirit didn't you whisper to them yesterday? I thought You did." Can you picture Him like that?
114:45 - How does is sound when you imaging God in the situation? - When we bring God into the equation it sounds so silly. But when we make it us it doesn't seem silly - because we don't realize that we were created in His image and we're to manifest Him.
115:15 - The power of forgiveness - Forgiveness brings healing - If you had held onto the right to have a right in that situation, your heart couldn't be free. If we embrace the right to be hard and hurt we are assuring that those things (the effects of abuse) remain and stay alive. When you surrender and bring mercy and grace into the situation then there is this healing process.
115:40 - Forgiveness manifests the heart of God - Remitting sins - Remember how Jesus said - Then said Jesus to them again, Peace be unto you: as my Father hath sent me, even so send I you. And when he had said this, he breathed on them, and saith unto them, Receive ye the Holy Ghost. Whose soever sins ye remit, they are remitted unto them; and whose soever sins ye retain, they are retained. - John 20:21-23. That's a very peculiar section of scripture because you never have permission to be in unforgiveness. It actually says that if you see someone sinning and you forgive them they will be forgiven. That doesn't mean that they don't need to get saved and repent in their own heart but God will treat them with grace. They won't be cut off. If you continue to see their value then a grace to redeem their value will continue to come upon their life. If you lock up your heart and retain their sin and shut up your heart where is mercy going to flow from? ...if we are the body of Christ. So when do you ever harden your heart to men? When do you ever hold men accountable to the place where you cut off their identity - because God never cut ours off.
116:05 - So if you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven. Why? Because we are the body of Christ and then the way of mercy will be seen and the goodness of God and they will see our good works, we overcome evil with good. Why? Because we are not alive unto ourselves. We are alive unto the image of God. And we are manifesting God to the world. So you're heart was coming into agreement with that.
117:10 - So if you are willing and determine that this matter is not going to rule my life and pray, God let me see like you see, you are in agreement with God's heart. You are not saying, "God why?", etc. That's what people do and then they keep the offense... (alive)
117:25 - Unforgiveness keeps the offense alive - Here is the power of forgiveness. When you don't forgive those who offend you, you are keeping the offense alive. Even when you avoid the person or smile on the surface and act like it's OK, when you don't forgive, the offense still has a voice. It's still alive. And twenty years from now it will still be shaping and sculpting her. When you forgive you render the offense powerless and kill it right there. It's the beauty of the gospel.
118:15 - Participant's comment about being abused as an adult.
118:50 - We have a perspective that facilitates being hurt - As an adult we can gain a rational mind and we give ourselves a right to be abused. Don't assume that right. Remember how I said that you can't emotionally abuse me? It's because of perspective. We gain a knowledge that permits us to be abused.
119:15 - Jesus had a different perspective - A perspective of pure love - Let me ask you this question: Was Jesus abused by men? Yes. But was He abused in His heart? Do you think He felt abused? Do you think you could possibly abuse Him? But was He abused in reality? Was the beauty of who He was forsaken and mishandled and touched wrong? But do you think you could touch Him wrong (make Him offended)? He is perfect love.
119:45 - We lose our innocence. As we get older we gain a knowledge that permits us to be hurt, offended, abused. People have lines that can be crossed because we draw them.
120:10 - A perspective of love hurts for you - Not by you - But God is tweaking our perspectives and showing us that we are the ones who opened the door for hurt and offense because of what we believed or didn't understand. But the truth is the people that are abusing are the ones in trouble and our hearts ought to cry for them and feel sorry for them. And it's an easy closure and resolve when you see it in the light. It's not even something you have to work through. It's not a long process. No, the light can come on.
121:00 - Example: Adultery - You can use adultery as an example. If we find our spouse with another person our immediate, instinctive reaction is "How could you do this to me?" instead of "Oh, my God. What has gone so wrong in you that you could be in that place?" And we don't even have the ability to hurt for them because they are so lost.
121:25 - Why is it so easy to be hurt? Why are we so quick to be the victim? You have to be abusable to be abused. You have to be touchy to be touched. ... the prince of this world cometh, and hath nothing in me.- John 14:30. Why? Because He was love. You can't hurt it. It takes no account of a suffered wrong because it doesn't seek its own. So it actually seeks the highest best for others.
122:10 - When someone does that, why isn't it so natural and instinctive for us to cry in mercy for them instead of crying for ourselves because of them? It's a sure barometer and sign... All of the sudden we reserve the right to be violated - the right to be abused - the right to be offended - and there are lines in my life that you can cross. What if there are no lines?
➡ Now you are not just going to bite your lip and do that... I want to get back to the original question yesterday...

Receive His First Love

122:35 - How do you love God?
122:45 - How do you even know if you love God? - The Bible answers this two ways... It says, We know that we love one another because we love God. And there are other places where it says, This is how we know that we love God if we love one another. - By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God, and keep his commandments. - 1 John 5:2 - Which means that the whole purpose of loving God is to become that love and we'll love one another. In other places it says that we know that we love God because we love one another. And in other places it say that we know we love one another because we know God. It flips it because it's all about becoming love. So either way you look at it it is right. It works.
123:30 - Receive His love - He loved us first - But the initial thing is that we don't love God first. God first loved us. Let's look at some scripture and try to answer this question...
124:10 - 1 Cor. 13 is all about love. It says that if I don't have love, I don't have anything. That's an extreme statement. You know how we say, "Don't ever say 'always' or 'never?'" The Bible is full of "nevers" and "always." The Bible is so no grey zone - black and white - for me or against me - you gather or you scatter. You can be a Christian and sincerely see your need for a Savior and have a mentality that is against the kingdom. Your mindset could be scattering from him even though you love Him. There is no luke warm. If you don't have love you don't have anything. Everything you are doing is motivated by something. And if it is not love there is no fullness... - And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God. - Eph 3:19
125:25 - We are affirmed in His first love - One of the saddest scenarios in the church is that we are trying to serve God - pay our respects to God - obey the word - and outwardly work out our salvation - in the sense of the strength of our flesh and works. And it gets twisted. That's why we need affirmation because we are insecure. That's why we can be hurt because we are not sure (of His overwhelming love for us). So a lot of things that we do are so that we can feel better about ourselves. The thing that is motivating us isn't love, it's still our need for love.
126:10 - Receive His love and then become His love - Our motivation to be is love. The goal of our instruction is love (1 Tim. 1:5). A lot of the things that are motivating us are still because we are in need of love. When do you just become loved - because Christ came? We still need love. That's why we are so easily offended and hurt. That's why what people say or don't say is painful. We are still looking for love from others.

Creation, Fall & Redemption

126:40 - Created in the image of God: love - God made man in His image - Gen 1:26. I don't think He is talking about physical appearance. It's WHO God is. Love isn't what He does, it's who He is. So when He made us in His image He made us just like God - same heart - same capacity (to love). He told Adam to subdue the earth. He must have been loaded with all that God is. So when God looked at Adam, God saw Himself. That's why we are to behold in a mirror the glory of the Lord (2 Cor. 3:18) and that we are being transformed into that same image. Our faces must be unveiled. The same image - from glory to glory.
127:50 - Created for love - So the image of God is love. God's nature is love. God is love - 1 John 4:8. So your created value is love. Now watch this... To know the love of God is to be filled with all the fullness of God (Eph. 3:19). So our created value is to love. And love takes no account of a suffered wrong - 1 Cor. 13:5. Why? Because it doesn't seek its own. ➡ So you are not alive for me. I am alive for you when I understand the image of God that we are talking about. It's not just a theological principal. It's what we are talking about in this whole school to become.
128:25 - The Fall - Cut off from love - At the fall man got cut off from love. Man was still loved by God but he got separated from the nature of God and from love. That's why he became sin conscious - ran and hid from love. How many of us are Christians and still find ourselves running and hiding from love because of our own lives? And coming up with reasons why God can't love us? He took their fig leaves off. Take yours off. Naked before God is OK. Ashamed isn't.
129:40 - You can see the fall of man in this. When man sinned he became completely self-conscious. Before he sinned he was completely God-conscious. All of the sudden all the things around him lost their (created) value - even Eve.
130:05 - Eve came out of the fullness of God in man. When Adam followed her instead of God's voice, she even lost her (created) value. He became more valuable than she to him (self-centeredness).
130:20 - Man became selfish - a god unto himself - When God asked if he had eaten from the tree Adam replied that it was the woman that you gave me (blame shifting). He was willing to abort God and cut off God and the woman for the sake of himself. He lost the ability to take responsibility to be humble and to say, "I did. Man, I never should have eaten from the tree." No, he was self defending, self-preserving, self-protecting. Selfishness was rampant now in man. He became a God unto himSELF. "The day you eat from the tree you will be like God" - Gen. 3:5. So he submitted to that wisdom to become like God. But He was already like God. He wanted to be like God of himself. That was the nature of the deception. It was as if he were lacking something. So he tried to attain something that God did not create him for and he fell.
131:05 - Redeemed back to love - So we were created to love and all of the sudden man is in desperate need of love because he got cut off from the source of love. But God so loved that He gave His Son. And through the seed He crushed the head of the enemy to redeem us back into this place so that we are once again in His image and become the children of God.
131:25 - We were in desperate need of love - It's designed by God that we live by faith. And from the point of the fall until you are born again you are in desperate need of love. You were created to love but you are in desperate need of love. Why? Because of sin. Because of being cut off from God. But it's God's intention that you receive... To know His love is to be filled with all the fullness of God.
131:45 - The gospel brought a change in everything - Perspective, motives, purpose - The word "fullness" means a house with no empty rooms. It's beautiful. And all of the sudden you owe me nothing and I owe no man anything but to love. Why? My whole perspective, motive and purpose for life, my created value and everything about me has shifted now because the gospel has come and brought light to me. Now I see it for what it is. And in the secret place of my bedroom, my car, the shower, wherever I might be... it's communion. You realize why you were created.
132:45 - Revisiting participant's testimony [@110:35] - It's powerful that she got alone with God and settled in her heart - Why hold onto this and let this be who I am. God I am willing to see however you see. I am just not carrying grudges and issues. I feel sorry for Him. And all of the sudden a grace comes on her. She can hug him. There's no memories. Yes, it's possible. Take that testimony and make it your life - that one principal in that one situation and make it the heartbeat of your life. What you see you become. But are we willing to let all of that go? Are we willing to release men? Are we willing to trust that to God - vengeance is mine says the Lord? Are we willing to become love? That's the question you have to ask yourself. I know I am. I'm not going to let your one action against me rob me of my created value and my ability to see you through God's eyes. If I am created in God's image why am I going to make you Lord over my life by giving you that kind of power?

Marital Love

134:20 - If it wasn't for the fall would there have been babies? Yes. Be fruitful and multiply.
Marital love - There is an ability to have union and communion together. After the fall when man and woman come together, everyone was born into Adam. Before the fall they would have all been born into the holiness, intimacy, innocence and purity of Christ. So men and women have the ability today to be in covenant marriage, understand that it is not about an orgasm or sexual union or "Hey honey, it's been three days." Come together because of each others value, because of your desire to love, nurture, protect. And in that place of safety and union and oneness you conceive a child in the presence of God in love. That's a good way to start. Will the child still have a need to be born again? Absolutely, but there is a place where you come together and conceive in the presence of God. It's beautiful.
135:30 - The lost beauty of marital love - In the garden then... we lost the beauty of love.
135:45 - Pornography - What is pornography but a self serving fantasy that people cling to. When I finally saw that for what it is... I was never addicted to it but I sure didn't turn my head from it. When I saw that for what it was, I was free. It's nothing but self-centered, self-serving desire that serves yourself at the expense of others. All of the sudden the man possesses the right to feel arousal or function with a million different people just because they have the right parts and look a certain way. And we have subverted love. And then we get a woman in our arms to play that part and we tell her that we love her. We are bankrupt, bankrupt of love.
136:45 - And then women are forced into the role where they are trying to measure up to that whole exploitation and fit in and be desirable, be attractive and be all of that stuff. And it makes you one in (of) millions because a man can function with anybody when he is for himself. And we have lost the value and beauty of intimacy. Many marriages have paid the price of that and are hurting because of that.
137:05 - The creation of Eve - Because of love - If we men would get back in the face of God and become men of God and you women... We would start realizing that women were created out of the fullness of God in man and created... You were an avenue for love. You were where love multiplied. You were where love was given.
137:40 - In other words, God made man because God had nowhere to flow and reproduce. So He made man in His likeness. And man had the same thing going so He brought forth woman. You're on the earth because of love, not because of man's need and lust and loneliness. The reason there is woman is because there is man. And the reason there is man is because there is God. And it's all because of love. It's real simple.
138:05 - You (women) are not another lump of clay. You came out of the first lump. You are already one in God and there is equal value - men and women. They were already one in God. He just broke it down because the greatest expression of love is when two wills, two souls and two lives can come together and join and function in one heartbeat.
138:40 - That's what makes the Godhead so amazing. They are three but they are one.
138:55 - "I love you" - I need you - Most of the time when we say, "I love you" it breaks down to mean, "I need you. You are filling gaps in my life. You bless me where I feel needy." That's why when someone leaves someone, the person they leave is so crushed and devastated and doesn't even want to go on. They can't see themselves functioning without their need being met by that person. They have locked into that other person as their lifeline and their identity. It's needs driven most of the time unfortunately.
139:30 - Relationships are needs driven a whole lot. "Well I'm not getting any younger. I'd love to have kids soon. i'm looking for mister right." And all of the sudden it's needs driven. That's why 3 years later somebody can look the other in the eye and say, "I don't think I love you any more." And they seem OK to just walk away. Why? Because something shifted in them. Whatever they needed from you 3 years before, something shifted and you are devalued because you are not needed any more. And it almost looks cold and callous. You are left high and dry. And you can't even function because you are still in desperate need.
140:00 - Christ changes all of that. You can't even be found in that position.

* * *

140:05 - When God cursed Eve, did that mean that she would no longer see her identity through God but would try to find it through her relationship with man? - Everything that became her mentality through what God spoke... It became her mentality through that fall, that place of being cut off from G and love... She is damned and destined to be driven that way apart from Christ. Apart from Christ you are destined to live that way - the insecurity and the void and vacuum of your life now because you are apart from your created value. That's the curse of the fall of man.
141:00 - Adam and Eve reaped what they sowed - God did not curse - Jesus was made to be a curse. He was made to be a curse so that we could get back to the blessing. So God didn't curse anybody. There was a reaping of what they had sown. And God said to Eve this will surely come upon you... And there were words over Adam - by the sweat of your brow, etc. He was created to keep and tend the earth in the grace of God and now, by the sweat of your brow you are going to earn your keep. Isn't that how people live? So that is all subject to change once that fullness of love comes back into you.
141:35 - Counselling young women who have given themselves to young men. I try to tell them who they really are. Encourage them to grow in their relationship with God. If she sees who she really is she will never sell herself short or compromise.
142:00 - Identity crisis and it's repercussions - Any time we fall into any level of sin it's just a lack of identity and revelation of who we are in Him and Him in us. It's an evidence that we need to grow in our relationship this way (vertically, with God). It's all through identity crisis.
142:10 - Addictive behaviors are esteem issues and identity crises. That's the root of addictive behavior - pattern behavior. Any cycles in your life means that you haven't been settled in your identity through Christ.
142:30 - Counseling young women (continued) - One young woman said, "There are no young men out there like that." That was her excuse. So I have to give myself to a lesser young man. That's what she was saying. I said, "Absolutely not. You are a prize to be won. You stand in position and you draw Christ out of a young man. You become such a prize and such a woman of honor and such a vessel of holiness that you absolutely make a draw on a young man's heart that Christ be formed in him." And she went, "Oh, OK." Why not be a prize to be won? Be "wow" in Christ, not "wow" in the flesh. It's not the adorning of the flesh but the beautiful person of the heart. And you become so amazing that it actually draws Christ up and out of someone - so two can become one.
143:35 - Insecurity - Rat race - Or else there is insecurity rooted behind it all. You are just trying to get their attention and get them to look at you - the whole rat race of what we've all been through in our lives. It's all driven by insecurity and uncertainty. "Oh, my God. He really likes you? Aaah!" We think that's cool - that's normal. But just as quick as he likes you he could curse you. And after you are married he could sleep with you at night and demean you in the morning. And now you are caught in feelings of "What's going on? I though he loved me." These stories are by the dozens.
144:15 - "I love you" is misused - The words "I love you" have been so misused. I don't even speak them that much in my life. I think our lives should just say, "I love you."
144:20 - Grandpa - My grandpa never said, "I love you." I never heard him say, "I love you." I knew he loved me. He didn't ever have to say, "I love you." I knew he loved me. He wasn't a huggy, affectionate man either. I didn't need him to hug me. I knew that I was safe and accepted when I was around him. He thought it was not good to cry.
144:50 - Talking to my grandparents about Jesus and bawling. "Your grandparents don't even know who you are. They don't realize what has happened in your life." But I know that he loved me because He lived "I love you."
146:00 - Sometimes we are pushovers to the words, "I love you." "Really? Really?" "I really do," "Aaaagh." You can live terrible towards someone but then on certain occasions... We can learn from that and make sure we are never there again.
146:35 - I would treat my wife terribly but on the nights I was off I would treat her like a princess because I was thinking of night time. Horrible. I remember doing that as a degenerate man. After a while it hardened her heart...
147:05 - Die to yourSELF already - Enough on that... Why wouldn't we want to die to ourselves... so that we can live unto him? Why would we want to live at another person's expense if He died for us? Why would I live at your expense when I am called to love you? Why would I make it about you-towards-me, when it's about me-towards-you.
147:35 - Get settled in Truth through prayer - That stuff you have to settle in your heart by prayer. You have to yield yourself. Just be willing for grace to mold you. Just be willing for the Spirit of God to make it your reality. Sometimes it's as simple as getting alone with Him and saying, I release everybody. Nobody owes me anything. I know that it sounds like words to my mind but my heart wants that God. You created me to love and love I shall. And I thank you for the work that you are doing in me. I am not lacking in any good thing. That's faith. Or you are going to critique yourself and introspect yourself and come up short all of the time. And then you will get discouraged and back off and settle for something less than your heart cry. (You can't love others without relationship with God.)

Receive His Love - Become His Love

1:48:25 - Have a pure motive of love - Without love you have nothing - Back to 1 Corinthians 13 - So if you don't have love, you don't have what? Anything. Then love is not your motivation. And there has to be something... If you would give all of your goods to the poor... It seems noble. It seems like a good work. And your body to be burned - That's in 1 Cor. 13 - but you don't have love you've got nothing. Why? Because you are doing it for some other reason. You are doing it to be seen... to make a name for yourself... so that they put a statue of you in the city some day and say you were amazing.
149:00 - Do you know that it is possible for people to face the reality that they are going to die and then they do a bunch of noble deeds so that people will write books about them. They just believe that their names will be honored. It has nothing to do with Jesus. What I am saying is that if it's not love, it's nothing. Heaven will never remember it. The world might make a statue of you but that statue is not in heaven because it's not to the glory of God but the glory of man. It's not about love. It's about selfishness. The only reason you did good... You did good for your own sake. So it looks like good and people benefited from your act of what seemed to be charity but your underlying motive was for your own sake and for how men would respond to you. That's what makes it "blegh."
150:00 - Become love - Your heart will always be encouraged in love - v.4-6 - Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; - Do you know why I am always excited? Because God is perfecting love in me. And I rejoice in truth. So when love is being perfected in you, you see things for the way they are in Him. Not the way they seem and feel. So your heart is always encouraged in love. That's why I am so flaky.
151:15 - Story of first meeting and praying over one of the school's participants. Spot on prophecy. Fragrance of Christ. God can trust His own heart with anything. Before that she had wondered if God heard her. She realized that kind of intimacy was available.
152:15 - "You have to let this gospel be so personal. He died for you." But she had this thought, "Well, He died for us. It's not just about me."
Receive His love personally - And this little thought will try to keep you from receiving it personally to where it becomes your revelation. These are the little things that creep into our minds - the little foxes that spoil the fruit that wants to grow on the vine - Song. 2:15. So one little thought that fails to take His love personally keeps us from receiving something so vital. One little thought could rob your life for years.
153:25 - So He died for you. Yes, you. And you are His favorite. So am I. Don't panic, so am I.
153:45 - Some people object: "Yeah but, if it was just me..." The Good Shepherd has a flock of 100 sheep. And He will leave the 99 to get the one - Luke 15:4. Don't tell me He didn't die for you and you and you. So don't fight the truth when truth is your best friend and here to make you free. Don't come up with a reason why not, when He says, "Yes!" That is getting back to the fall and your mind is still god.
154:15 - Don't resist His personal love - Humility receives, pride resists. When God says you are lovable, just be lovable. "OK, You really made me lovable." Don't say, "Well, yeah but you don't know my life..." Yes, He does. "Yeah but brother you don't understand..." I'll bet He does. We are almost trained to talk ourselves out of something so good.
154:35 - His love is not too good to be true - It's good news of great joy - "But it just sounds so good." It is. It's good news. The angel said, "Good tidings of great joy" - Luke 2:10. So if there is not great joy we are not interpreting the good tidings clearly. "Good tiding of..." - That means the the great joy flows out of the understanding of the tidings. So the understanding of truth brings great joy. That's what's wrong with me.
155:05 - Some say, "You are excited about everything." It's because I understand the good tidings. Great joy is the automatic response. I can't help it. I don't have to try to be that way. I just start talking and my heart bubbles up. Why? Because it's good tidings.
155:20 - v.13 - And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity. - Why is love the greatest? Because the motive is pure. If the root is good, the fruit is good. Make a tree good and the fruit will be good.
155:40 - Pursue love first and foremost through union and communion - Even more than spiritual gifts - So look how chapter 14 starts out - 1 Corinthians 14:1 - the first two words. He just established that love is the greatest. Then he says pursue love. What does that mean? Oh yeah, desire spiritual gifts. I'm not making light of those but before you desire spiritual gifts, pursue love.
156:15 - Pursuing love vs. pursuing spiritual gifts - Some people aren't pursuing love. They are desiring spiritual gifts and flowing in the spiritual gift makes them feel worthy. Don't get caught in that stuff. The Bible tells you to pursue love. We should camp in that. If the only measuring stick of love is Christ crucified and His life lived - and God is love - and Jesus was the word and the word became flesh and dwelt among us - then I am pursuing the revelation of love through Christ and His life, the message He brought to me and who I am through Him coming. I meditate there. I camp there. I pursue that revelation. It's the pursuit of my life.
157:15 - You may not realize that you are changing - The five weeks after being born again - in the bedroom and pursued love - the heart of God. God I would have said that I was a Christian my whole life. And my heart was a mess. I was a wretch inside. God I want to be just like you. I want to love like you and walk like you. I don't want to just say that I am a Christian. I want to manifest your heart. And I thank you that you are willing to make that happen. Everything I a reading here says that you have been on my side... And I would just be real and share what I was finding in the word. For five weeks I camped there and asked Him to mold my heart and make my heart just like His. Cause me to see myself the way that you see me so I can see everyone around me the same. I didn't even feel like I was changing. Everybody around me was going, "Dude, what is up with you?"
158:15 - Coworkers inquire about change - 4 days. Going holy roller. You are so different.
200:15 - The man sent to inquire was an atheist. Dad dying - Be man enough not to create a God. Teaching kids the same. What if you are wrong? Sounds like you are a god on the earth.
201:25 - In a couple of months you will be the same old guy. Bumping into him every now and then later. Are you living Jesus yet? Marketplace - yelling out to him.
203:35 - I didn't know that I was changing. I wasn't biting my lip trying to live differently. I was communing and engaging with Him and surrendering my heart to Him and believing that He desired me and wanted to live in me and wanted to mold and shape me like a Master Potter.
203:55 - Make yourself available to be changed, to be loved and to become love - Clay must be yielded - And what does clay do? What is the only power of clay? Yield. The only thing clay does is yield. If clay is not in the right condition and position, the potter can't even use it. The potter has to put it on the shelf - wet it down and let it sit for a while. If the clay is not pliable He can't even make what He is capable of making because the clay is not in the right place. So if you are fighting with His ability to love you or that He does love you. If you are fighting and weighing your life against His grace and goodness you might find that you are not in His hands being molded and shaped like you could be. You are resisting the Potter's hand. You are His workmanship, created in Christ. He wants to take the sheet off and reveal His work. It's you under that sheet - image of God.
205:00 - You've got to think that way. The last thing you need is just doctrine. You need God reality. It's one thing to say, "Jesus loves you." It's another thing to become love and be the expression of that love.
205:15 - Don't claim His love just as a defense mechanism - Some people claim, "He loves me" all the more just because they are so hurt and devastated and so broken this way (others). "Well, at least Jesus loves me. I know that He will never break my heart." And all that you are doing is saying, "My heart is so broken because I have been so subjected to man." And you are clinging onto some language that seems to be preserving you. And you are a wreck. We think to say the right things. No, it's to believe the right things.
205:45 - The affirmation of men is only healthy when you already realize God's overwhelming affirmation - It's good to be loved and appreciated but it's only healthy when you already know that you are loved and appreciated (through knowing the heart of God). It's only really healthy when it's not needed. If I need you to affirm me I probably ought to grow here (in relationship with God). Because then when you affirm me it's healthy and not needed. It can create a sickness in me to where now I am living in a way to get the affirmation of men. And I am actually called to love you.
206:20 - Pursue love. Just think about what the Bible is saying. Let's go to Eph. 4 real quick...

Putting off the Old - Putting on the New

206:45 - Ephesians 4:20 - But ye have not so learned Christ; - He's talking about not living like the world anymore when the gospel has come into your life. I am not so sure that all of us have learned Christ today the way Paul taught Christ. We've got a limited view.
207:20 - v.21 - If so be that ye have heard him, and have been taught by him, as the truth is in Jesus: -
Jesus - My everything - The revelation of love - So the life of Jesus is the revelation of love. The life of Jesus is the revelation of your life. Everything is in and through Jesus. That's why He is your everything. He's not your everything because He meets your needs and gets you out of trouble. He's your everything because without Him you would have no identity or purpose for being. Do you know how we sing those songs, "You are my everything?" That's not just because He meets all of our needs and fills our vats and barns and is our provider. He's our everything because we find ourselves through Him.
208:10 - Are you guys tired? Being tired at Power and Love conferences.
209:30 - Who is the truth in? Jesus. In nothing else. He's not a truth. He's the truth.
209:45 - v.22 - Put away the old - That ye put off concerning the former conversation (conduct) the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts; - Conduct - everything: mindsets, motives, conduct - everything about your former life is now trashed. It's put off. It's the old man. He is just going to grow more corrupt. Why hold onto his ways?
210:00 - v.23 - Put on the new - And be renewed in the spirit of your mind; And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness. - Who is the new man? Created according to God. So you are the will of God. Your salvation is the will of God. In true righteousness - That means you are right with God. It's not something you are making up. You have been made right with God. And it's a righteousness that will never fail. His blood will speak on your behalf forever.
210:40 - So we put away lying and all of these things. Look down at...
210:45 - v.28-31 - Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labour, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth. Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: -
210:55 - Put away the old without getting into works - How do you "put away" without getting into works and just trying not to be that way? You put it away from your identity. You let it be put away from you.
211:05 - Father, I thank you that that is not what I am created for. I am not a man ruled by anger. I thank you that my heart is being transformed into love. I'm a born again man.
211:15 - You can leave the old behind - If you had heard me pray when I was first saved some would have stopped me and told me to find balance. "You have to face reality." It's like what I was telling you about denial... "Now brother, everybody is going to have their moments. You are going to have your days. You can't be praying like that. You are still going to have those thing in your life." And I would declare boldly that I was changed forever. I was like a little kid running through my bedroom...
211:45 - Establish your heart in the secret place - In the bedroom during the first few weeks after being saved. I was getting so established. "I'm born again. Everything is brand new. Never again will I be consumed by strife and stress and anger and frustration. All things are new. Oh my goodness, Lord, your nature is in me. Your heart is in me. Your love is who I am." I would just proclaim that. Never again will anger rule my heart. Never again will the sin of selfishness live my life for me. God I'm free. Yay, I'm free! I would read something about being delivered out of the power of darkness and it would kick off something in me and I would get off of the bed... I am delivered. I'll never again be bound. I'm free. I did that for weeks. And that truth became established in me. I don't even pray those things anymore. I touch it with thanksgiving at times but I don't pray those things. They've become a reality to me. It's just the way it is.
213:25 - Grace meets faith - How else do you establish your heart? You settle what faith is and what you believe and what your desire is and you enter into prayer so that grace takes you there. (Grace meets faith and makes what you are believing real in your life.) You dare believe it's possible. Many don't believe what I am saying is even possible because we weigh ourselves short and less than grace. I have cried in my bedroom saying, Father, don't let one drop of grace available through the cross of Jesus miss my life. I don't want to sell it (grace/faith) short. Open my eyes and heart. Because you can do exceedingly, abundantly above whatever I ask, think or imagine. And Lord I don't want one ounce of grace to miss my life. Whatever is available through the cross and through the resurrection come upon my life and mold me and shape me and make me the man of God you made me to be. I will not limit you. I thank you that we are one.
214:15 - Just talk like that. Pray like that. Drive and pray like that. All of the sudden it gets excited in you - real in you. It doesn't always feel like you are just saying it. Even if it feels like you are saying it, is it true? So then don't say, "Well, it just feels like I am saying it." So? Believe it in your heart and with your mouth you make confession unto salvation. Believe it with your heart - out of your heart your mouth speaks - Luke 6:45. You can find what a person believes if you really weigh their prayer life - if you really think about what comes out of your mouth.
214:45 - Sometimes you identify with everything that is wrong and it takes you 25 minutes to get past yourself just to get to God. That's not a good day.

Receive Forgiveness - Become Forgiveness

215:05 - v.32 - Receive forgiveness - Become forgiveness - And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you. - So you are not forgiving so that you are forgiven. You are forgiving because you are forgiven. That's how grace works.
215:20 - When Jesus said, "...forgive, and ye shall be forgiven..." (Luke 6:37) don't interpret that legalistically. No, you forgive because you have been forgiven. So as you receive forgiveness and you understand that you are forgiven, there is a mercy that builds in your heart that starts forgiving others. Why? Because that same grace that is on your life starts flowing through your life. You see that you have been forgiven. Then how can't I forgive you. God forgave me of everything. How can I not forgive you of something much smaller.
215:50 - Parable of the unforgiving servant - Mt 18:23-35 - In today's currency (20 years ago) the servant was forgiven of $19 million vs. $500 that he couldn't forgive. God called that an evil and wicked servant. Why? Because you receive that forgiveness to become that forgiveness. It's not a self-serving forgiveness. You don't receive that forgiveness so that you can go to heaven. You receive that forgiveness so that you become that forgiveness. You receive that love so that you become that love. You receive that mercy so that you become that mercy. Why? Because you were created in the image of God. And everything that He has become in your life is so that you become that in others.
217:10 - We haven't been taught that for the most part. It's been about praying for our sake - praying for our needs to be answered. And fear still drives us. And "Where are you God?" And "I know you'll pull through because I think that you love me." That's kind of what we have been demeaned to.
217:30 - Chapter 5 v.1 - Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children; And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour. - So walk in love. What's your example? ...as Christ loved... Now look what He did. He gave Himself for us.
218:20 - So how do I follow that? I give myself for you (others). This is simple. Go to...

Christ - Our Example of Pure Love

218:30 - Philippians 2 v.1-2 - If there be therefore any consolation (encouragement) in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any bowels (affection) and mercies, Fulfil ye my joy, that ye be likeminded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. -
Unity not uniformity - How can we in our great diversity and giftings and callings, be of one mind and one accord? Because we all woke up for the same purpose. We are all running for the same goal: to manifest His image.
219:05 - Some might have children pressing on their heart. Someone else may have missions burning in their blood. But we can all wake up for the same reason and are of one accord and have the same reason that we are Christians. It's beautiful.
219:20 - v.3 - Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. - Let nothing be done through selfish ambition. Why? Because we have become love and if you have love you have nothing (of selfishness).
219:40 - v.4 - Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. - Now look how he intensifies this...
219:45 - v.5 - Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: - I don't know about you, but if he is going to define what was in Jesus' mind I want to pay attention and become that. He's telling you what made Jesus tick. We have gotten this way in the body: (snooty) "Well, I have the mind of Christ." Probably not. I mean you probably do but it's not realized.
220:20 - He's talking about motivation - what makes you tick.
220:30 - v.6 - Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: - That's amazing. He didn't see it as a thing to be grasped onto, (haughty) "Well, I am a child of God... I am royalty," to where all of the sudden you are demanding preference and favor. That's what we do. That is the twisted view. No, it actually makes you humble. You begin to wash someone's feet. The greatest among you is the servant of all. Jesus was a Son but He...
221:20 - v.7 - But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: - He wasn't even asking men to esteem Him - but to partake of Him - to eat of Him - to be reproduced of Him. He wasn't asking for honor in the sense that we know honor. He was asking men to partake of Him.
221:50 - Taking the form of a servant... He's the Son of God and He came in the form of flesh to show us what flesh is to look like and what it was created to look like. He wasn't high minded and haughty even though He was the Son of God. He was the first born among many - Rom. 8:29.
222:20 - v.8 - And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross. - He was in the appearance of a man but He was a Son wasn't He? And He was still the Son of God wasn't He?
222:45 - v.9 - Wherefore God also hath highly exalted him, and given him a name which is above every name: - This is how God responds to humility. 1 Peter 5:6 - Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: - You are not doing it to be lifted up. You are doing it because you are humble. The response is a grace that exalts and lifts up. In time He was highly exalted and given the name above every name that at His name every knee should bow - in heaven, on the earth and under the earth. They would all bow.
223:00 - v.10-11 - That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth; And that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. - And then he flips it to us...
223:15 - v.12 - Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. - Realize that you are a Christian to follow Jesus. You are not waiting to go to heaven. You are following His example and you are walking out after His life by faith. That's what he is saying.
223:35 - v.13-14 - For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure. Do all things without murmurings and disputings: - And because we have become love. We're following Jesus. We consider ourselves of no reputation. And we've settled that in a place of prayer and exchanged that back to God, for who we are created to be in God. 223:50 - Grumbling and complaining - We do all things without complaining and disputing. Why? Because our perspective allows us to. You are not even thinking about complaining. It's not even about biting your lip and saying, "OK, I'm not supposed to complain." No - the potential to complain, the ability to complain, the mentality that embraces complaining gets wiped out of you. It's not in you... because of what you have become. You are not fighting against sin like we think we are.
224:20 - Cursing before salvation - only at work. I never tried to stop swearing. No, all things became new. It wasn't in me any more. He is there and He has filled every void.
225:00 - Missionary from Africa - used to drink, curse, etc. - After saved - "I just didn't do it anymore. I just became in love."
225:15 - Old farmers - I don't smoke. I don't drink. And I don't run after the women. I guess that makes my mule a Christian.
225:45 - We're not Christians because of what we do or don't do. We're Christians because of what we have become. And what we've become determines what we do or don't do. You live out of becoming. You are becoming love. You are becoming the nature of God.

Receive His First Love

226:10 - How do I love God? See His first love - Camp there - We still didn't answer it. We have 12 more weeks to answer this question. Really simply: You can only love God because He first loved you. When you meditate on your need for a Savior and what God did and ask Holy Spirit to make that real, you will realize that the nature of God is so amazing. You've never been touched, treated, shown favor by anybody like God. So I meditate and dwell on those things. And I look in scripture for every way that Jesus manifested love so that I can follow it.
227:05 - Commune that and it will become your reality - Grace meets faith - And in prayer... God, I just so say "yes." I am created in your image. And I affirm it continually in my heart. It's become reality to me. I actually don't affirm it much anymore. It's just the way it is. Like I don't have to remind myself that my name is Dan Mohler. I don't have to walk the floor, "I am Dan, I am Dan." You are a son. I am a son. I am way past debate. This thing is settled in my heart. You are way too late to talk me out of it. Because nobody talked me into it. Grace made it my reality.
227:55 - Closing prayer - Just seeing a lie can be the freedom you have been seeking. Your life can change in a moment because of what you see. Truth making you free.